Big Sister….well technically Brother

I have a position. I hold a pretty big position. It requires me to be there whenever my advice, my shoulder, my eyes & ears are needed. It requires me to listen, to understand, to dissect and to be unbiased at all times. I am the Brother at Large for Alpha Sigma Chapter of Phi Sigma Pi (Co-ed) National Honor fraternity at VCU; and I say that proudly. And the best part of what I do, is that I do it all in secrecy – confidentiality. You’ll never know exactly what I do, who I talk you or what I know. It’s a rough job but someone have to do it. This position requires a strong heart and a strong mind. Yeah I’m an emotional person, but somehow that helps me do what I gotta do because I care about people. I care about how they feel, how they let life effect them and what they do about it. This is the job for me. And I love it.
I just pray the right person takes my place after I graduate…

bored

I just want to share, that I am SO sleepy right now. I’m actually in class. This boring little pointless freshman course that I should have taken 4yrs ago. The lesson is interesting, its on natural/herbal products. This module is actually on pharmaceuticals, my fave topic in health care. But this man is too boring. Nice guy, but he needs to be a little more enthusiastic on this Monday evening in a class full of college students. And it’s a nice day. Ugh… I’m glad I brought my netbook…

Sit Down Sunday

Yes, it is Sunday. As you may have read in my last post – last night was pretty rough for many residents of Richmond, VA. I myself just got home a couple hours ago and I have been sitting on this couch ever since. Well I did use the bathroom and wrap my hair when I walked in. But that’s about it. I do have homework, really difficult and annoying chemistry homework. And although it isn’t due until tomorrow night, I know I’m not gonna want to do it at all tomorrow. Plus I have several meetings tonight that I know will take forever. Ugh my life! But I love it So I guess this is my last post for the day. I’m going to attempt my homework now. That is if I don’t find something else to distract me… like all of those dishes in the sink.

Well, until anything happens I’m still just sitting on this couch.

If you can’t dodge it, RAM IT!

So last night my team, the VCU RAMZ, were defeated in the Final Four in the college basketball tournament thingy. Needless to say I really don’t know much about basketball. Shoot I’m not really a fan of the sport at all. But as soon as My school got on the map and people started to recognize us for the talent that we do have, best believe I was watching and cheering them on as well.

Last night we played Butler and boy was that a close game from start to finish. I was so paranoid. All the people of Richmond, no not just VCU students but the people of RICHMOND, VIRGINIA, were so excited and so proud of our boys. But I feel like they got a little too excited. And maybe our boys got a little too excited and relaxed as well. I think that Charles Barkley said it best after the game, and I totally agree with him. He said something along the lines of “You don’t play good or bad, you just play. And while you’re out there it’s all about the decisions you make.” So I guess our boys didn’t make all the right decisions because in the end a score of 62-70 with Butler on top was all she wrote.

But it was the after effects that really hit home, literally. People were out in the streets acting like straight fools and it wasn’t out of pride neither. Marching in pride and with school spirit would have been cheering them on regardless of the outcome. No, last night more along the lines of angry mobs and riots. Fires were set,  store windows broken, police had to intervene, it was just a mess. Even I couldn’t come home last night. The truth of the matter is, Richmond usually gets nothing but a bad rep. So our boys fighting for the win on the court meant a lot to everyone here. Everyone just chose to express themselves in the worse way possible. Honestly, everyone was a little hurt by the loss.

 As for me, regardless of the outcome I’m proud. VCU had never even made to the Sweet 16 and this year they went above and beyond. They may not have won the championship, but this season I’m proud to say I am a RAM!

Tonight

Wow this is different. I just downloaded WordPress for Android so I’m actually blogging from my phone. This is probably gonna cause me to blog so much more because now its like texting; my guilty pleasure… but tonight I’m hurting.
I’ve gotten close to someone. We’re friends and always have been. But now its so much more. Aw Hell, I’m so in love. The mere thought of him makes me smile. I love the way he looks at me, touches me, encourages me, pushes me to do well. He’s a true friend, a wonderful man…. but I can’t seem to stop hurting him. I don’t mean to. I don’t want to. But its like our personalities clash everyday and its tearing us apart. And we make it work. We put it back together again, this vicious cycle we call our friendship. We literally love so hard that it hurts but its ok, because its love. I’ll never walk out on him and he’s always there for me. But tonight wearing his ring, I’ll cry myself to sleep. 

Bubbles

This is actually extremely old. Like 2007 old lol and it’s obvious by the way I typed and my spelling.

there are a number of reasons y people call me Bubbles but i have specific reasons y i go by it. usually i just tell people, “it’s because i’m such a happy person, i’m bubbly,” well yeah that’s partially tru. one of my friends actually sumed it up pretty good… and she didnt even know it. she wrote me a poem and here it is… this is why I’M BuBbLe$…

Beautiful Person So helpful and yet free

But the Pain Deep inside from which she cannot flee

Makes her tear at night and no one seems to Know

For her Pain deep inside her She Will Not show

In the Presence of a man is when she feels So Safe and

Her moans are Actual Pain that she tries to cover but cannot Erase

Nobody seems to Know the Real Person that Lies within

They Only See her Smile that Lights up a dark room

She’s Hurting, Lost And Confused and no one Knows why

All she can do is Lay in the Bed And Cry

A Beautiful Person So Helpful and yet free

But there is Pain Deep inside from which she cannot flee

… in case u didnt see the connection… when u actually see bubbles they’re beautiful and usually make people happy, they’re fun. but before bubbles are blown and actually made there’s nothin but soapy liquid, nothin solid. yes i seem to have it all together (like a solid substance), on top of tha world, and just this wonderful person… but i’m just effervescent in the presence of others. people see my bubbles, but they dont see me*

Because it’s not just “V” Day

Just another quick press. But some press none the less. Today is February 14th. Just another day to some, a special day to others, either way is just a day in which I’m happy to say I am here. Today is someone’s birthday, someone is probably being born right now, someone is sick and another is getting out of the hospital, some couple somewhere is getting married while another is celebrating their 50th anniversary. Today is my fraternity’s 95th birthday – Happy Founder’s Day Phi Sigma Pi! But to me, it’s just another marvelous Monday. I woke up late, rushed to work, and I still have class at 1, 2, and 4. No, I’m not complaining. I thank God for this beautiful day. I feel really good today and I just thought I should let you all know:)

chillin

Just a quickpress. It’s a been a while y’all. But I guess I just wanted to let ya know that I’m still alive and well. Chillin at school and this semester is going great. There’s actually so much more to say but I just don’t feel like it right now lol. Maybe tomorrow… or Monday

My Labor Day (vent post)

As we all know, I’m pretty much an optimistic gal. I always look on the bright side, see the glass half full, see that my good days outweigh my bad days and all that good stuff. But I can honestly say that THIS Labor Day had to be the WORSE Labor Day I have had…in my life.

My day began with my aunt calling me, asking me to pay her cell phone bill online because she wasn’t aware that although her bill was due on Labor Day, the day is considered a holiday and not a business day so she technically had an extra day to pay. Eventually, that was settled. Then, my sister and best friend (who happen to be boyfriend and girlfriend, we’ve discussed them once before) decided to deal with their relationship issues yesterday. Guess who the mediator is? Well, before they actually met up I told my sister his side of the story. Just to give you the short version, he’s upset because she doesn’t have any time for him, she’s upset because he talks to HER mom about their relationship. Both are valid arguments right? The problem is that Jeff isn’t aware that Tashia and her mom don’t really have a good relationship (that’s another story). So I got to witness my sister/Tashia go off yesterday and when I say go off, she was yelling and screaming and cursing and throwing stuff. It was pretty bad and I felt so bad for her.

And eventually, even those crashing waves calmed and settled. At this time it’s just after noon on Labor Day. So my sister and I get dressed and ready to go out and on with our day and then my mom calls from Japan. I’m a little confused because it’s 1:00pm here and my mom is calling; it’s 2:00am in Japan. Turns out, my grandmother passed away…on Labor Day…yesterday. So now I’m devistated, confused, upset, hurting and all of the above. I’m in VA, my grandmother who’s no longer with us is in MD and my parents are in Japan. I spent my whole Labor Day crying. I stayed with my sister, bestfriend, cousin and baby cousin all day then I had to drive back to school which is only an hour drive and yes, I cried while I was driving. I’m just glad I got home/back to school safely.

Of course I’m still hurting, I was just with my grandmother a week ago and I told her I’d be back. But there is a time for everything and I guess it was just her time. RIP Gramma Joyce. I love you.

A Friend

Boy, I hadn’t seen you in years.

The boy I remember was just that, a boy.

The little, skinny, chocolate boy

with the little fro and the big smile.

The funny boy, the nice one, the cool kid that made me smile, always.

A good friend, my friend.

But that was over eight years ago and look at you now. Somewhere along the line we lost touch. For a while there, I thought you forgot. But I knew you didn’t… because I didn’t. How could I? My friend…

I went to you last night, how could I not. The chance of a lifetime [for me] and I took it. With excitement welling within and joy in my heart- my eyes laid on you set off the fireworks inside. Confusion, excitement, and happiness all in one. It caused my head to spin. Discombobulation yeah, that was me. Words lost, speechless you were yet no words were needed. That first hug and I all but melted. Yeah. It is what it is. Your smile still warms my heart. Your eyes, still beautiful and full of life. Able to see more than just me, more than what this world sees. I don’t know how many times I got lost in your eyes, as we talked the hours away. The night was so real, so innocent. Just like we were 12 again. You touched me, but with total respect and your hands felt so right yet we still knew when…we still knew our limit. And it was ok. It was still so beautiful, so innocent. Just like we were 12 again, talking and laughing the hours away.

Still I wonder if I’ve missed something. New feelings arise from somewhere. Are they real, or did they stem in the heat of the moment? What was last night’s purpose, if any? Or was it just a coincidence, two old friends crossing each others paths? I’m not sure just yet but I do know this. I miss my friend.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1